LEARN HOW TO LOVE: still on initial things about a man and a woman part 3

part3

was nothing but an absurd attempt to make women "the apes of men." And so on without end; the accusation

in each case being some tag or last fag-end of fact, caught up by ignorance, and coloured by prejudice. So
commonplace is it to misunderstand, so easy to misrepresent.
That the Uranian temperament, especially in regard to its affectional side, is not without faults must naturally
be allowed; but that it has been grossly and absurdly misunderstood is certain. With a good deal of experience
in the matter, I think one may safely say that the defect of the male Uranian, or Urning, [Note: For the
derivation of these terms see ch. ii., p. 20, intra.] is NOT sensuality--but rather SENTIMENTALITY. The
lower, more ordinary types of Urning are often terribly sentimental; the superior types strangely, almost
incredibly emotional; but neither AS A RULE (though of course there must be exceptions) are so sensual as
the average normal man.
This immense capacity of emotional love represents of course a great driving force. Whether in the individual
or in society, love is eminently creative. It is their great genius for attachment which gives to the best Uranian
types their penetrating influence and activity, and which often makes them beloved and accepted far and wide
even by those who know nothing of their inner mind. How many so-called philanthropists of the best kind (we
need not mention names) have been inspired by the Uranian temperament, the world will probably never
know. And in all walks of life the great number and influence of folk of this disposition, and the distinguished
place they already occupy, is only realised by those who are more or less behind the scenes. It is probable also
that it is this genius for emotional love which gives to the Uranians their remarkable YOUTHFULNESS.
Anyhow, with their extraordinary gift for, and experience in, affairs of the heart--from the double point of
view, both of the man and of the woman--it is not difficult to see that these people have a special work to do
as reconcilers and interpreters of the two sexes to each other. Of this I have spoken at more length below
(chaps. ii. and v.). It is probable that the superior Urnings will become, in affairs of the heart, to a large extent
the teachers of future society; and if so, that their influence will tend to the realisation and expression of an
attachment less exclusively sensual than the average of to-day, and to the diffusion of this in all directions.
While at any rate not presuming to speak with authority on so difficult a subject, I plead for the necessity of a
patient consideration of it, for the due recognition of the types of character concerned, and for some
endeavour to give them their fitting place and sphere of usefulness in the general scheme of society.
One thing more by way of introductory explanation. The word Love is commonly used in so general and
almost indiscriminate a fashion as to denote sometimes physical instincts and acts, and sometimes the most
intimate and profound feelings; and in this way a good deal of misunderstanding is caused. In this book
(unless there be exceptions in the Appendix) the word is used to denote the inner devotion of one person to
another; and when anything else is meant-- as, for instance, sexual relations and actions--this is clearly stated
and expressed.
II
THE INTERMEDIATE SEX
"Urning men and women, on whose book of life Nature has written her new word which sounds so strange to
us, bear such storm and stress within them, such ferment and fluctuation, so much complex material having its
outlet only towards the future; their individualities are so rich and many-sided, and withal so little understood,
that it is impossible to characterise them adequately in a few sentences."--Otto de Joux.
In late years (and since the arrival of the New Woman amongst us) many things in the relation of men and
women to each other have altered, or at any rate become clearer. The growing sense of equality in habits and
customs--university studies, art, music, politics, the bicycle, etc.--all these things have brought about a
rapprochement between the sexes. If the modern woman is a little more masculine in some ways than her